The MTV VMA’s 07 in a nutshell: Organized chaos.

The network seemed to hand their flagship awards show over to drunk and egotistical artists and cross their fingers that it would end up a diamond in the rough. Well, the show ended up a massive party of rockstar proportions, encompassing debauchery, jealousy, infighting, tension, and frenetic pandemonium. Audience members seemed no more than sheep given jugs of alcohol to curry into pretending to have the time of their lives while sedated on cutaway shots.

Highlights: Kid Rock and Tommy Lee gets into a fight during Alicia Keys set. Kanye West and 50 Cent coming out together. Kanye West and T-Pain rolling around the Good Life Suite and finishing off their set on the overhanging balcony to sweeping helicopter shots. And Timberlake pleading MTV to “play more videos…enough with reality shows around the Simpsons”. And Nelly Furtado…so hot…

The Bad and the Ugly: everything else. Who thought cramming a rock band into a small hotel suite would be cool? Fall Out Boy, Gym Class Heroes and the Foo Fighters deserved better. Fergie winning Female Artist of the Year? JUSTICE losing out to Rihanna for Best Video of the Year? Beyonce and Shakira as best collaboration? I guess, anything happens in Sin City.

And Britney. Poor girl. She tried for a comeback. Lackluster performance, combined with a very tepid reaction from the celebrity audience; it merely reinforced the waning faith of that and the loyalty in fans. There’s that adage, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. It’s truly unfortunate for Britney that the VMA’s were nationally televised.

And POOR Hayden Panetierre stuck in the Neutrogena lounge. Cutting from the flashing lights and drunken stupor of the Southern Hospitality suite to the tame, sparsely filled Neutrogena lounge was reminiscent of those junior high school dances, socially awkward, contrived and without spark. Lastly, Kanye West seen throwing a childish tantrum, reminiscent of previous awards shows for not picking up any Moonmans. Hey, best of luck tomorrow buddy. Maybe you’ll be able to beat the Cent.

Ahh, the 07 VMA’s.. better than previous, but still not the jolt from the defibrillator they needed to come back from its 3 year slump. But haterade aside, I think they’re onto something. Watching the show definitely made me want to go out and party. Which I did, only to end up at a practically empty bar talking to a bartender named Annie.

MTV has been steadily heading downhill for the past 4 years, with the largest drop of 28% in viewership last year. They’ve shifted programming interests to concentrate on materialism, cheap stunts, dating shows, superficiality, celebration of celebrity; I’m talking about “The Hills,” “Laguna Beach,” “Can I Come In,” “Real World,” “Road Rules,” and the show that will go down as my most hated show, “My Super Sweet Sixteen.” Yes, if anyone is at fault, it would be the channel themselves.

The channel has desperately been trying new and innovative things to revive its flailing brand.

But their track record with attempts is bordering abysmal as they’ve missed out over and over again. On YouTube. And MySpace. And music download store like iTunes. Plus, it couldn’t have helped that Justin Timberlake revealed Janet Jackson’s nipple to the entire world during a certain MTV produced Super Bowl halftime show, driving advertisers to leave the once golden temple of the youth of America.

You got to give them a bit of credit for trying though. In their latest attempt to revive the dying brand, they’ve moved to an entirely new location and are turning to Las Vegas to be that special place of renaissance. (they must not have been watching the news during the NBA All Star Weekend this past year…)

Instead of a central auditorium or concert hall, MTV will be broadcasting from all throughout the Palms Hotel & Casino rolling from the pool to Rain to their sports arena to separate suites in the hotel, where performances and announcements will be made. Before the show, people are able to go online to mtv.com and enter a virtual world, likened to Second Life, and browse through the suites and view virtual performances. Hmm… very cool, but Second Life and a slew of other sites do this already. So let’s try again, MTV.

Their final try at glory: embracing a bit of nostalgia, harkening back to the heyday of pop and TRL. I’m talking about Britney Spears, the boa constrictor around her body, and her infamous camel toe. Yes, Britney Spears is scheduled to perform at the MTV VMA’s.

This would have been a great move… 2 years ago. It’s unfortunate Britney’s image isn’t the hot, girl next door, untouchable icon she used to be back then. She’s done gone authentic trailer trash. Very public problems with child custody, crotch shots, debauchery, and lip-syncing…She’s a sinking tugboat trying to pull a sinking cruiseliner. They’re both fighting to stay afloat, trying…

Losers say they’ll try. Winners, now winners, are the ones who go home and fuck the prom queen.
Peace,
IsoGen